Fine, just come back from hostel, departed by 6pm but reach home at 9, stupid traffic jam~ Well, for this week, nothing really special, study, sleep, dreaming, novel, eat, walk, chat~ kinda miss home. At first, I thought I won't get homesick, but I really missed my sweet home, the bed, soup, mom, dad, grandma, bro, and my ah boy~ When I came back from the hostel, my grandma smiled at me and said " ah qian, finally come home ar, heheeeee~" When she "hehe"ed, I was so touvhed, my grandma really worried about me...... She told me that she always likes to sit beside my mom when my mom is chating with me, she is so worried when I told my mom that I haven't bath at 7pm, she said she afraid I will be in danger..... T.T Although I know that this is quite funny since bath at 7pm is kinda normal for me, but I really feel so touched~ Well, I will try my best to bath before 7pm, 6.59pm can ah? XD
Today, there was a short break for one hour, so my friends decided to go out to have McDonald~ Well, first we cannot find the McDonald that we thought that it is nearby (actually it is just about 1km from my college but we didn't notice it). Next, a spider was observed at the mirror thingy, my friend sitting in front not the driver was frightened and screamed for so loud, she looked like she wanted to jump off if the spider tried to approach her from any 1cm more~ haha, we took some time to comfort her, then we continued our journey. Half an hour passed and we cannot find it, so we decided to change the venue to Wangsa Walk. Then, we used some time to go there since we didn't where exactly is it. After eating, it was 1 minure to our class time. OMG, we rushed to the car and rushed back to the college but we cannot find where is our college! So, we went round and round, finally we reached the class after 20 minutes ( we went to toilet and I rushed until almost fall down and kissed the floor, stupid shoe~) . Luckily, the teacher just started the class, and she did not scold us on it. A special experience for me since I never did that before even in the secondary school.
I used to be a strict, stubborn and fierce lady boss in front of my friends in the secondary school. I don't know why, just simply want to show face to the others to protect my stupid pride, but I also worry about the impression of mine in their mind. I really hope to be as friendly and popular as kjs and huei yein. I admit that sometimes, I envy them. Ya, I am a human, a normal student with a better result and bigger body, bad tempered and negative-minded. I envy my friends, they can be so natural in front of friends, everyone just loves them and they are always welcomed. I don't really think that result is very important, I just take it as my responsibility as a student to study well and as a child to make my parents proud. I study really hard, I want to be the best, beat the rest, so that I have the "face", and hopefully my family members and also my parents can be proud of it.
Actually, long time ago, I knew that besides results, I have nothing. I don't have any special skills, I don't know how to play piano, guitar, or even cook, do housechores, dance, sing and also communication. I just don;t know what is the real me, don;t ask me to be myself, because I don;t even know who I really am! I hate to be that negative-minded, but I really afraid that I will be rejected.I know I am not the one always being welcomed, I don't know what I should do, study? Enjoy? I agree with a maxim saying that, without a clear objective, you will not succeed. I am now perfectly stucked! I know I should relax, be optimistic, be open-minded, do not think too much, be myself, study hard, enjoy college life, make more friends...... But beside these, what can I do? useless person @@
My dad used to tell me that I am stupid, I will not ever and never chase up my brothers' talent and abiltity to mix around, and the most important is, I will never smart. I will be just stubborn, stucked in the life, do not know how to communicate and interact with people, do not know how to talk, so I will never survive in the realistic society. I know I shouldn't cry, but the bitter in my heart, I just wanna release it. Sorry if I irritate you, please forgive me, thanks a lot for reading the post. I will cherish it, since I really need a friend to talk, but when I check my phone number list, I do not know who to talk. Some i did want to call them, but do not know how to start. Should I just dump everything on them, or just simply chat something? I do not want to lose anyone of them, I need them, ans YOU too, who is reading now.
I AM SORRY BECAUSE THE TITLE OF THE POST IS HAPPY NEW YEAR BUT I JUST WROTE SOMETHING SO ERHEM, SORRY IF THIS IRRITATES YOU :)
Everyone is imperfect, and so many of us try to be ourself, natural and simple =)
回复删除We know that you care for us... If not, you will not overload your head thinking how to be easy-going and friendly when staying with us~
所以,还是老话一句,找个你信任的朋友倾诉啊！时常闷在心里是不好的……>< 如果你需要聆听者，我随时奉陪 =D
dont ever compare urself to others.. is hard but pls try to do so..^^ then ur life will be more happier~ =) let go the best do your best in future~ wit bless and luck and of course wit my smile, wishing you a prosperity chinese new year~
回复删除shuld be let go the past.. >< psps hahas
回复删除since kjs already say wat i was about to say, then all i can say is to just let things flow. and u will be able to find yourself one day when you just learn to follow your instinct. yes, i know the feeling of needing to prove to people but in the end, you have to put yourself first and do what you feel like it's the right thing and not get influence by what you think popular or likable people do. everyone is different, be happy with who you are. :)
回复删除p.s. i like it more when u type in english. :P